Well its been a while since I’ve really focused on my blogging, I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time but here I am again and surprise surprise I’ve been reflecting!
For anyone that has read my previous blogs, you’ll know I love to reflect on my memories, thoughts and feelings and I’ve realised I’ve come pretty far in this last 12 months. I’ve gone from being very socially anxious, very self hating and very low in confidence to somebody that is pretty proud of herself. Now seriously 12 months ago I would never of said that, I always managed a way to put myself down and I think honestly, I hated myself for being poorly.
Now, I think as a society we’re always in a rush; a rush to grow up, a rush to get to work, a rush for the weekend, I’ve always been in a rush for my mental illness to disappear but life doesn’t work like that and sometimes being in a rush can be detrimental to your wellbeing.
When I was a child I remember thinking ‘when I’m a teenager ill feel better and it’ll go away‘. It didn’t. Then I thought ‘when I’m an adult ill be fixed‘. NOPE. The irony is when I stopped wishing for my life to pass me by just because I believed my mental illness would be ‘fixed as I got older’ thats when things improved. When I stopped hating myself, mental illness and my diagnoses and instead started to nurture both my brain and body THATS when things changed. We all have the power to become comfortable in our own skin and to be proud of ourselves.
Now it wasn’t easy and to this day I wish things were different – but they’re not. I’ll manage my illness, try to reduce the number of relapses I have but it will always be there and that okay. Everyone of us will experience challenges, illness and loss and millions of people live with lifelong illnesses both mental and physical and the best advice i can give you is to remember;
- Your stronger than you think
- Your not alone
- Having an illness doesn’t define you
- It doesn’t matter if your mentally ill, physically ill or both – Treat yourself with compassion
I’m here to tell the tale, and once you force yourself to be kinder, changes will happen.
Remember, its okay to talk